|Number of Appearances||8|
|Played by||Jon Daly|
|First Episode||Did Somebody Sit on a Duck?|
|Latest Episode|| 2013 Holiday Spectacular
Bill Cosby-Bukowski has read several of his Jell-oems live on the podcast.
I Wish I Had Titties
"I wish I had titties along with my penis, if I had some fat titties I'd feel just like Venus... Williams, crazy double-Ds are debilitating, they'd be like super-soakers when i was lactating. I'd be a fat titty tranny and advertise in the back of LA Weekly with my thighs spread akimbo, limbo is a sport that my titties would not allow, me to play I'd be left out at every luau, but that's okay 'cuz at every other party I'd be the sexiest one, I'd let everybody play with them even my son, Theo."
Oh Shit! Fat Albert Just did a Shit Ton of Heroin on my Floor
"Fat Albert Fat Albert are you ok? Rudy check his breathing he's dead ok, I guess he overdosed on heroin let's eat him, kid said "What do you mean dad?" I said "Theo, bring me Mortimer Ichabod my Mortimer Ichabod slaughtering knife, this fat bastard is gonna feed us for ten weeks and just like the Native Americans we'll make every part of their bodies into submarine sandwiches", Vanessa said "...but dad the Indians didn't make sandwiches" I said " Shut the fuck up, it's Native Americans you're not being sensitive tempestt bledsoe, I'll fucking tempestt bleed you out" then Rudy says "...but dad I dont like the taste of people" I said "Shut up, Keshia Knight-Pulliam! I will Keshia Knight pull all your hair out and make a sandwich out of that and feed the sandwich to your butt!" Theo says "Dad!" I said "Shut up Theo, this is your first and only Malcolm-Jamal warning! Then I will rain down shit all over your face." Then I cut into Fat Alberts warm body and the Huxtable living room filled with the smell of A1 Steak Sauce and metal."