Shelly Driftwood is a character played by Horatio Sanz. He is a book writer who wrote a book exonerating O.J. Simpson, because he actually killed Ron Goldman. He sells Porsches (but drives a 1989 Prius). He once sued Target but it was a scam and he only got $2400, even though one of his eyes now sees upside-down. He once pranked his best friend by pissing on his mom's face.